The Comic Relief
by indigopumpkins
Summary: With Galbatorix still raining doom and gloom over Alagaesia, It's nice to know that Elora and Varella have a prank and a witty joke no matter what the weather. Eragon/Arya. Please Review!
1. Sulking Jokers

A/N: This story is mainly based upon all the pranks and witty jokes from the two troublemakers: Elora and Varella. They are all little drabbles or scenes that me and my friend have made up over the past year we've had these characters.

Disclaimer: Finally I get to own something! I own my character Elora. My friend owns Varella, and everything else is not ours!

Chapter One: Sulking Jokers

Scene 1:

A terrible rainy day had cast itself over Elesmara. Varella walked lazily around the palace halls looking for something, anything that might be entertaining. Her boots thumped against the marble floors, and her face shined in the glossy finish.

As she turned the corner she spotted Eragon leaning against the wall. He was muttering something, but with his back turned to her she couldn't hear a thing. Slowly she eased her way from behind the wall, and got just far enough to see who he was speaking to.

And as always, it was Arya. Elora and Varella had noticed some time ago that those two had a thing for each other. That and also because Angela told them some weird fortune telling about them.

Varella hid back behind the corner wall and smirked. She knew she just couldn't miss this opportunity. Somehow she had to make a fool of him. But how?

She thought of several funny ideas, but only one stood out to her the most. She ran over it again clearly in her mind. She and Elora would climb the air ducts and along with a bucket of water. Varella smiled to herself as she noticed Arya just so happened to be wearing a white tunic. _Perfect._

As Varella turned to leave Elora came in flipping and playing with her scythe. Before she had a chance to turn the corner, Varella grabbed her and brought her back behind the wall.

"What the hell are you doing?" Elora violently whispered.

"Are you bored?" Varella asked.

"Well let's see… yes."

"Good."

Not even five minutes later Elora and Varella rushed back to the soon to be seen of the crime. Eragon and Arya were still having a very deep conversation. Now was the hard part. Climbing into the air ducts and managing to make it right above their heads.

Soon after several minutes of attempting to climb into the entrance in the ceiling to the air ducts, and fooling a guard saying they were just doing some maintenance; they made their way in.

The place smelled of old grandma perfume and moldy crackers. When they reached the source of that smell, they found three dead frogs, cat feces, and several different kinds of cheeses. The perfume was probably a janitor trying to cover it up so he wouldn't have to touch it.

10 minutes later they found themselves hovering above Eragon and Arya's head with a large pale of water. Both of them lifted the bucket, and…

"Eragon I really have to say, that as much as I admire your maturity here, I think you have enough power to heal her." Arya said concerned.

Eragon sighed, "Yes but what I'm saying is what if I don't have en-… SPLASH!

Arya screamed placing her hands to her collarbone, and wiping as much water as she could off. Eragon flung his arms once or twice also trying to rid of the ice cold water.

As Eragon parted the wet hair that covered his eyes, he went completely blank. Too make the situation worse, Arya was now cold and shivering, along with a _very_ see through tunic. And a white bra showed clearly under it. She looked at Eragon and covered herself blushing as though a fire was lit in her head. Eragon quickly looked away as though he had seen nothing.

Now Elora and Varella were howling with laughter. Elora was wheezing and her breaths came in short terms.

"YOU TWO!!!" Arya screeched.

Elora and Varella quickly took their leave. As they crawled quickly through the ducts the metal beneath them banged loudly with every step.

Eragon placed his cape on her, and led her back to her rooms, then setting off to find the culprits.

Varella and Elora giggled as they at their warm soup in front of a blazing fire. Suddenly hearing angry footsteps marching in their general direction, they swiftly got up from the luxurious couch, and raced out of the common room. They saw Eragon arms crossed and blocking the door. Looking to the window as their only escape, they attempted to jump. However Eragon practically grabbed them by their necks, and dragged them to Arya's quarters.

The black haired elf now fully dry and nuzzled comfortably in her bed, read a book of poems. She looked up from her novel to see the door creaking open revealing an outraged Eragon, and two sulking jokers.

"Sorry…" they both mumbled. Eragon elbowed them, still managing to keep a charming handsome smile for Arya.

"**Sorry.**" They spoke louder.

Arya swiped off the covers, and made her way towards them.

"It's okay, I'll forgive you." She smiled.

Elora and Varella's faces turned completely uncomforted by the chilling water that snaked down their backs.

"Just not today" Arya finished.

"YOU'RE DEAD TO ME!" Elora exploded. Eragon and Arya ran hand in hand, while Elora and Varella followed in hot pursuit.

A/N: So…. Whadya think? Good? Bad? Just ok? Sorry for that one perverted bit. It was just too funny to pass up. Hehehe. Well I'm surprised I actually got passed two pages. I guess I had so much fun writing this one I lost track of where I was. Well I hope you enjoyed, I might update if anyone is reading. Please review, thanks.


	2. Peanut Butter and Jelly Surprise

Chapter 2: Peanut Butter and Jelly Surprise.

It felt like the bones on the bottom of their feet were pushing through. Elora and Varella slouched. Their limp arms felt like weights. It was burning hot, and they were hungry.

A loud grumble erupted from Varella's stomach.

"I think I'm gonna puke."

A glint of light flashed across Elora's face. She looked up to see the source. There stood Eragon and Arya. Eragon held a silver plate that was filled with food.

"I can't believe I'm resorting to this." Elora said sadly.

Varella too, looked ahead, and looked as though she'd never seen food in her life. So they dragged their feet to the diner.

"Well look what the cat dragged in." Eragon smirked.

"I'm not gonna waste my energy." Varella wheezed.

"What happened to make you both so tired?" Arya asked.

"Life." Varella grunted.

"I'll go get you some food." Arya stated, while Eragon trailed behind.

Elora and Varella stood with their knees shaking.

"I can't take it." Elora sighed and collapsed.

"NO what are you doing!? We'll lose a thousand gold to Angela is we don't stand all day!" Varella said offering her hand. Elora took it, but put too much energy in standing up that she fell forward.

They both stood up and dusted themselves off. Then something caught them off guard. I strange sound came from behind the kitchen door. It sounded like grunting. Varella and Elora pressed their ears to the door, and were shocked by the conversation.

(Warning: this next part is perverted but it's not what you think)

"Don't stop!" Arya screamed.

"I can't get it open!" Eragon yelled.

"Well try harder!"

"Put some backbone in to it!" Arya screamed yet again.

Another grunt came from Eragon.

"Oh for goodness sake!" Arya said annoyed.

"It's slippery!" Arya said.

"Oh forget it." Eragon said.

Some drawers opened, and they heard silverware being pushed around. Silence. Then Eragon and Arya opened the kitchen door.

Varella and Elora looked horrified. Eragon held a peanut butter jelly sandwich while Arya panted.

Elora backed away slowly Varella following her friend's actions. They both darted out the door.

"I was only trying to open a pickle jar." Eragon sniffed.

Arya watched as Elora and Varella ran for the hills their boney feet aching with every step.

A/N: See, what'd I tell ya? He was only opening a pickle jar. Um… I apologize for the shortness. Next one will be better.


	3. What's Your Slur Name?

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Eragon or any other copyrighted material.

A/N: Wow, hey guys; been awhile eh? I finally got some motivation to do another chapter. Out of the three new chapters, this one's my favorite, and I hope you guys will like it too.

The Comic Relief Chapter 3: What's Your Slur Name?

An idea popped into my head. Sure it was a pretty stupid way to kill off another day, but I had a feeling Elora would join me in the fun. My conscience laughed at all the silly names we would call the people of the court. When I told Elora, she just about peed in her pants laughing at the thought. And so it began.

Our first victim who we came across was Nasuada. "Good morning Nelly!" I greeted.

Nasuada was about to return the greeting before pivoting to face us, "What?"

"What's that, NASCAR?" Elora smiled.

"My name is Nasuada." She corrected, smiling in unbelief.

"What are you talking about Natasha?" Elora questioned.

"That's not my name." Nasuada said now more seriously.

"Of course it is. Your name is Nationwide." Varella laughed.

"It's Nasuada."

"That's what we said, Napoleon." Elora answered.

Nasuada walked away, tired of their little game.

The next person that they saw was Eragon. He was practicing some simple magic spells that apparently weren't going in his favor. He tried again, but to no avail.

"What's up Elvis?" Elora said nonchalant.

Eragon said hello, obviously drowned in his magic. Then as if it had hit him like a cinderblock he looked up and replied a simple, "huh?"

"I just said hello Elliot." Varella shrugged.

"What did you call me?" Eragon asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"I called you by your name, Eric. Ecology is your name right?" Varella smirked.

"No it's Eragon."

"What are you stupid Esophagus? That's what we just said Enrique!" Elora yelled.

"You did not!" Eragon shouted defensively.

"Yes we did, Elevator!" Varella barked.

"Go away…" Eragon growled.

"Fine Echo, we didn't want to talk to you anyway." Elora retorted.

Then Arya crossed the two laughing girls. They both giggled evilly when they saw she entered the library. She had just sat down with a thick dusty book, when they skipped by.

"Good morning Acrobat." Varella announced.

"Acrobat?" Arya looked at them in question.

"Acrobat, where in the world did you hear that Apostrophe?" Elora snorted.

"What are you doing?" she asked simply.

"We're talking to you Applesauce." Varella stated.

"My name is Arya."

"That's what we keep calling you, Airport! What'd you think we were calling you, names like applesauce?" Elora snapped.

"Yes that's precisely it! I would appreciate it if you would call me by my correct name."

"And I would appreciate it if the rabbits that live in my room would stop sewing all my clothes together. Why do you insist on blaming us for a stupid crime we obviously aren't committing?" Varella boomed.

"But you are!"

"No we're not Astrid!" Elora hissed.

"You just did it again!"

"Okay what are you smoking Apache?" Varella asked.

"I'm not… I'm not smoking anything. If anyone is smoking something it's you two!"

"Excuse me Acid Reflex?" Elora put her foot on one of the chairs that was next to the table.

"I will not take that tone Annie! Now you will tell us, exactly how much pot did you smoke?!" Elora roared.

"I'm not going to put up with this." Arya said taking her leave.

Varella sighed, "Kids these days."

Roran was in search of Katrina when he ran into Elora and Varella. He gulped knowing these two were always out to make a fool of everyone around.

"Why hello Rodriguez!" Varella chirped.

"What?" Roran was taken aback.

"What's what Rolland?" Elora looked around curiously.

"Rolland? That's not my name."

"We never said that Rocky Balboa." Varella acted baffled.

"Who's Rocky Balboa?"

"You are Radiation Poisoning." Elora snickered.

"Might I ask what you two are up to?"

"What are _you _up to!?" Varella exclaimed.

"I'm looking for Katrina. But you didn't answer my question."

"Don't worry about it Robin." Elora dismissed.

"Why are you calling me weird names?"

"_Don't worry about it. _Just stay clean, RedBull."

The two troublemakers left him to ponder their odd actions.

Angela breathed in and out, taking in her surroundings, and letting all her troubles with each exhale. Varella and Elora entered her tent, and proceeded with their usual antics.

"Good morning Arm & Hammer." Elora smiled.

"I'm sorry?"

"We just said good morning Anxiety." Varella stated.

"Don't you mean Angela?"

"That's what we said Ariel." Elora chimed in.

"Angela… you mean."

"Right Acorn." Varella said.

"It's Angela."

"Whatever you say Amy Winehouse." Elora laughed.

And once again the two were gone and journeyed to find their next victim.

The two found themselves lost and decided to venture inside of a large gloomy castle. The storm clouds seemed to hang over this place and the inside of it was just as ominous as the out. The two wandered around the halls for what seemed like hours before they walked into the darkened lair of Galbatorix.

"Oh hello Gobstopper." Elora said sweetly.

"What did you call me!" he bellowed.

"Gavin Rossdale."

"WHAT!?"

"Gee calm down Garbanzo bean."

"Call me something stupid one more time…"

"Gallbladder."

"ARGGHH!!" He yelled fiercely.

"Was that really necessary Garbage Disposal?"

"I'm going to kill you!" He shouted.

"I don't know, I'd rethink my game plan if I were you Goo Goo Dolls."

"And _WHY _should I do that?"

"Gimme a minute… I'm workin on it."

Galbatorix raised his sword, "Bye-bye Guppy Fish!"

The two girls fled into the forest and ran all the way home.

A/N: I know all the Inheritance characters are not themselves, but this is a really weird fanfiction after all. Was it funny, even just the slightest bit? Maybe… maybe not? Well tell me what you thought in a review. I love those!

P.S.: I am currently writing the fourth and fifth chapters.


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